Motivation

Today my sister texted me a quote that I love- although it was tweaked just a bit to fit my situation:

"The true test of a womans character is what it takes for the swine flu to stop her!!"

Thanks missy- I won't let it stop me! (if for no other reason, then to not have to drink this nasty stuff EVER again.)

Swine Flu?

We aren't really sure if this is what I've got, but whether it is Swine Flu or not, It sucks! I have all of the symptoms, but when I called my doctor to see how much the test cost, they told me they don't do the test. They just listen to your symptoms and say whether they think you have it or not.... I'm pretty sure I can do that myself, thanks. So now I am quarantined to the bedroom for who knows how long, just sitting here, covered

head to foot in my moms essential oils, feeling like

death. Fun, huh?

I am beautiful, just the way I am.

*Just to warn you all, this is a pretty lengthy post, so I won't judge you if you don't read it all :) it is just something that hit me pretty hard, so I had to write it down.*

Today I had a life changing experience. And when I say life changing, I mean it. In one of my classes this semester I forgot to do an assignment so I grabbed at the chance to do some extra credit. There was a lecture give this afternoon on body image in the UVU student center and if I went I got 5 extra credit points - and since my perfectionist self isn't satisfied with a B grade, I decided to go.

And I am forever grateful I went.

Quick background of myself, I have never been happy with my body - Ever. I have never been overweight or had an eating disorder, and my parents have always told me I was beautiful, but I have always struggled. My experience all through junior high, high school, and entering college has been somewhat based on my "need" and want to loose weight, and comparing myself to some of my best friends. I have thought about it at least everyday. One of my life goals I have written down is to have a "beautiful stomach at one time in my life." I look at skinny girls everyday and painfully long to look like them. On the other hand, I looked at beautiful girls who were "overweight" and I felt sorry. I have bought countless magazines with exercise workouts and "in shape" celebrities hoping that I could learn their secrets. And all this time I thought I had a healthy view of what it meant to be "in shape." I never struggled with an eating disorder or excessive working out, so that meant I was right in the way I thought.. right?

Wrong. And that clicked in my head today. When I walked into the lecture a few minutes late, here are some of the things she was going over:

• 56% of girls think that models have the perfect body, and 40% percent of girls only see flaws when they look in the mirror
• After only 3 minutes of reading a magazine, 70% of women feel depressed, guilty and shameful.
• only 2% of women in the world can call themselves beautiful
• 60% of kids have t.v.'s in their room - and over a 3 year period of time, those girls who had t.v.'s in their room had a 3x's higher rate of an eating disorder
• 90% of all women diet, and 90% of all diets fail after one year. By failing I mean those 90% gained the weight back, plus 10% more weight. Our country is dieting ourselves heavier.
• 14% of 5 year olds diet, 50% of 9 year olds diet, and 80% of 10 year olds diet, and 90% of high school girls diet.
• When Jennifer Aniston was on Friends she was working out 8x A DAY to keep her body the way it was. And when she was on the cover of Redbook magazine the only thing they kept of her body was her hand (it had her wedding ring on it) and her head. Everything else was airbrushed and someone else's body. Also it's not really Julia Roberts body on the cover of "Pretty Woman."
• Studies show that girls today are more afraid of getting fat than nuclear war or losing a parent.

I was shocked. Not only at the information that was being given, but because I understood and could relate to it. I starting realizing how distorted my view of "beautiful" was. I knew that a lot of the media wasn't real, but its hard to see a skinny beautiful woman on the cover of a magazine and not think its possible, if you work rreeeaallly hard, to look like that. You forget that its airbrushed, and start thinking of all the things you can do to start looking like that. She gave a healthier and better way to look at food and eating called "intuitive eating." Some tips she gave on that were:

• No scales or measuring cups
• No label reading or counting calories
• No more dieting!
• There are no "good" foods or "bad" foods - Everything in moderation!
• Exercise that you enjoy
• Honor your hunger and fullness (in takes about 3 months for you body to change from you old eating habits to know and understand when you are actually full.)
• Eat 3 meals a day and3 snacks a day

I was suprised how hard all of this information hit me, because alot of it I had heard before. But for some reason this time it clicked. I finally understood. I left the lecture once it was over and broke down crying because I realized I could finally love my body exactly the way it is. I can focus of eating well and exercising to stay healthy, but I no longer have to focus on the numbers and how much I weigh - it doesn't matter. And I don't need to compare my body to others because what's mine is mine and what's theirs is theirs. I went to the bathroom, looked at my "love handles" and my stomach and smiled. I guess I can finally cross off that life goal :)

Once upon a time..

Once upon a time, I failed miserably at cooking. If you read this blog at all then you know the experience that I am talking about. I don't want to explain it again for fear of gagging. Well once upon a time I also had a mother who cared so much about me and that horrible experience that she wouldn't let me put it behind me and just forget about it. So she bought me this:

Panda's Orange Chicken Sauce.

I cringe a little everytime that I see it.

But I have to try it right?

We will see how it turns out this time around...

To all you ASL and Miley Cyrus lovers...

Haha... I thought all you "ASL" people would like this :)

Miley Cyrus 'Party in the USA' Video Gets Sign Language Treatment

He's a Champ.

So I realized today that I post so much about myself on this thing, and I should stop hogging all the limelight. So today I am doing a post all about the Jake! well just one thing actually... Jake has been playing on a flag football team for the past 2 months on team "Get Some." Fits a "guys" team name right? (insert me rolling my eyes). Turns out he is pretty good:

He is the #1 quarterback for yards and touchdowns

in his whole football league.

176 completions, 56 touchdowns, and 2642 yards.

You go babe - Get Some!

This week, I almost died.

The rumors you have heard (or didn't hear because I may or may not have made them up) are not true. I am still alive. Barely.

This week i had a life threatening situation while sitting on my couch in my new apartment. I was minding my own business, checking out facebook... i mean.. doing my long overdue homework.. when i saw something black out of the corner of my eye. Now in my innocence i figured it was just my imagination. and then i saw it again. And i screamed.

IT WAS A BLACK WIDOW.

Yes you heard me right - The most poisonous spider in the

northwestern U.S. was IN MY HOUSE - ON MY COUCH. I ran in to the kitchen as it crawled ferociously after me clicking its pinchings and showing its teeth to me. It was trying to kill me!

Alright so that is sort of exaggerating, but the part about it trying to kill me is true. I am positive that is why is was surreptitiously crawling up my couch trying to remain unnoticed. It was going for my throat.

I knew i couldn't smash it - because #1 its a spider, and #2 the thought of hearing its butt squishing under my foot was unbearable. So I did was any human being would do in that situation: I trapped it with a tupperware and then covered the tupperware with 3 heavy books, a roll of tickets, and a frying pan and left it for when Jake got home.

Long story short, When Jake got home, he drowned it in windex and then smashed it outside. Gross.

I am happy to put this behind me, but before I did I just wanted to give all you worried people the reassurance that I am alive and well - although trying not to be worried about the baby eggs that may be inhabiting my apartment.