This week, I almost died.


The rumors you have heard (or didn't hear because I may or may not have made them up) are not true. I am still alive. Barely.

This week i had a life threatening situation while sitting on my couch in my new apartment. I was minding my own business, checking out facebook... i mean.. doing my long overdue homework.. when i saw something black out of the corner of my eye. Now in my innocence i figured it was just my imagination. and then i saw it again. And i screamed.

IT WAS A BLACK WIDOW.

Yes you heard me right - The most poisonous spider in the
northwestern U.S. was IN MY HOUSE - ON MY COUCH. I ran in to the kitchen as it crawled ferociously after me clicking its pinchings and showing its teeth to me. It was trying to kill me!

Alright so that is sort of exaggerating, but the part about it trying to kill me is true. I am positive that is why is was surreptitiously crawling up my couch trying to remain unnoticed. It was going for my throat.

I knew i couldn't smash it - because #1 its a spider, and #2 the thought of hearing its butt squishing under my foot was unbearable. So I did was any human being would do in that situation: I trapped it with a tupperware and then covered the tupperware with 3 heavy books, a roll of tickets, and a frying pan and left it for when Jake got home.

Long story short, When Jake got home, he drowned it in windex and then smashed it outside. Gross.

I am happy to put this behind me, but before I did I just wanted to give all you worried people the reassurance that I am alive and well - although trying not to be worried about the baby eggs that may be inhabiting my apartment.

2 comments:

Rebecca A said...

Haha love it! This totally made my day :)

Petersons said...

hey give credit where credit is due... you were just going to sit there all afternoon and watch to make sure that spider didnt crawl out of the tupperware. it was so my idea to cover it with a heavy book... the 3 books, roll of tickets and frying pan might have been a bit over kill but who knows? i wasnt there :)