Trust in the lord with all thine heart.

Yesterday I ended up having to boil water in order to wash dishes (busted, leaking water heater drama), so naturally I felt just like Ma Ingalls. We're going on day 2 of no hot water, and I just found a poop-smeared floor in Hadi's room that is going to have to be cleaned once she wakes up from her nap. So..that will be fun.

This past year has been an interesting one. I think the title it holds could read something like: "2013: The year of many trials." From the very start it has felt like one stumbling block has been placed in front of another, with 5 more of varying sizes up ahead of it. For me, I have felt like it has been a huge test of faith. On one hand, I'm exhausted. Mentally, physically, emotionally - you name it, i'm feelin it.

But on the other, it's hard to complain. Even though it's been a bit of a roller coaster to get this baby here, he is growing and thriving inside me. That's more than I can say of the last two times around. The sickness of this pregnancy has been just as tough physically as mentally. I have forgotten what it feels like to be me, but I am pregnant. If all continues to go well, I will have a sweet (cross your fingers for easy-going) baby boy in my arms at the beginning of next year. In fact, his due date "happens" to be the exact week that we miscarried back in January. Hardly a coincidence. We have struggled financially and there have been so many months where I have budgeted our checks while silently whispering prayers asking for help because numbers were not even close to matching up. There has been job interview after job interview for over a year, and each one has produced the same result: Sorry, wrong direction. But as tiring and frustrating as that has been, we have pulled through every single time. Through all the big stuff, little struggles have been weaved in and out, but I look around me and see others with bigger trials and more sadness than we've come close to facing. Who am I to complain?

Life has been tough, but I guess we've been tougher. We're still here and there's still some fight left in us (please Universe, don't take that as a challenge). Prayer has been my constant companion and a few wonderful scriptures are never far from my mind. I guess that's a benefit from a year like this - you grow to see even more who your faith and trust needs to be in. And maybe we'll get it all out this year, and 2014 will be the best year we've seen yet. Here's to hoping, right?

*sigh* ... Now back to that poop clean-up situation. Off to boil more water.

Over and out.

1 comment:

Jessie said...

You. are. amazing. Someday, I'd love to meet you in person. :) Way to hang in there with faith and hope.