And then a tiny light shines through.

The kind of light that illuminates just enough around you to realize what's been there for months, even if you couldn't see it. Because how could you see it? That kind of fog creeps in slowly, taking a little bit of who you thought you were and confusing it with its own agenda. Suddenly it's all you remember. It's normal to never see your next step... to be too consumed to want to take a step... to stumble through with the voice in the back of your head whispering "it might always feel like this." Right? Can that be right?

Months. And then suddenly laying in the dark tonight, after nursing that sweet boy, I saw it. The tiniest of lights came with the image of carrying a laundry basket on my hip. It's that same feeling of being 8 again and playing "mailman" as I put away the clothes. A feeling of rightness, ease,  and control. A feeling of complete contentment with the present moment.

And then with the shuffling of thoughts the lights gone. I think I could find it again though.
Maybe it won't always be this way. Maybe I will find that light switch after all.


Madi said...

Mmmmmm. Love this so much. More more we want more!

Brissa said...

You gave me Goosebumps!!! we really do want more!!! More plz!