Happy Birthday Pants!
From the moment you came into our lives we were thoroughly interested and excited. It's been all uphill from there. You have always been such an example of many things to us.
Things like humbleness and piousness,
Bravery and strength,
Excitement and adventure.
But its your stylish ways, love of music,
And absolute devotion to food that keep us coming back.
Also Kira and I would like to take this time to publicly apologize for all the times we pretended for hours that you had "moved to Utah" and wouldn't talk to you even though you pleaded to make us believe you were standing right in front of us. Yeah, we are sorry.
Happy non-government Birthday Pants. You go Treat. Yo. Self.